I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
