i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
