two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
