Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
