Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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