i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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