I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
