Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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