So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
