he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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