i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You ruined the universe
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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