this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize