Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
