You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
