No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
