Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
