Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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