there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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