# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
