I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
