Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
