I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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