Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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