Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
