doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just cropdusted the office
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
