My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
