dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
