we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
