but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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