Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i barfeds in our rink
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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