Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
