I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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