it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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