I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
