it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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