mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Rumble strips road head = magical
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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