So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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