is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
