They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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