He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
