was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
