Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
