Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
