I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone signed my nipple.
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