Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
