I cockslap morals
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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