he wants to bone in the snuggie
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
