i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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