fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
