Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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