I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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