I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
