the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
