i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Randomize
