we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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