A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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