Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize