She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
