Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
