why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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