What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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